I'm Lobke and these are my heroes

Lobke is 32. As her daughter frolics around and occasionally asks for attention, she smoothly tells her story.

We had a wish for children that was not fulfilled.  I am a kindergarten teacher and my heart goes out to children. After a year of trying, all the tests showed that we could not have children by nature. At least not in an ordinary way. We tried insemination, but each attempt failed. The wait between tests was exciting every time, but then each time the negative result came. Each time we were disappointed and the doubt hit us: should we continue?

Then we tried something else, a variation on IVF: ICSI. They inject hormones which make more eggs. However, in my case only one egg cell was ripe. That was terrible news. We had little hope and our courage was sinking.

Yet we persevered. The egg was placed back and look: here is my daughter! The pregnancy was difficult. Bleeding during the first trimester.  Again there was despair, but again we were fine after weeks of flat rest. The second trimester went normally at first, but then they discovered she wasn't growing enough. Again I was bedridden. Then preeclampsia! There was no end in sight. Our lives were even in danger.  She was born by cesarean section at 37 weeks: 1.7 kg and 42 cm.  She spent one month in the incubator.  That was a difficult period as well: going to and fro to the hospital, not being able to hold your own baby, wash it, give it a drink...

In the end it turned out well.

Afterwards we wanted a second child and this time we knew what to expect. But it turned out that I was already in menopause, I was barely 30!  I was in very deep trouble at the time while my partner dealt with it in a different way. Together we sought help and now we are open for the future again. Everything is better.

In my story there are many heroes.  First of all there was the gynecologist: she was straightforward, hurtful or not.  She didn't gloss over anything and, as a result, I knew exactly what I was getting out of it. I had no illusions. The period in the hospital I was supported by nurses, friends and family.

I can divide the reactions of my friends into two groups. "At least now you can sleep in!" "Now you can go on a trip!" "Did you maybe smoke during pregnancy?" Some people don't realize the impact this story had on us. After the birth, our lives stood still and we locked ourselves away. For the first two years, we didn't want to miss a moment with her. Then there were the reactions of our close friends, my heroes: "Everything will be okay." "Keep going for it." "You'll be a good mom." "You deserve it." 

Lobke Pattyn from Langemark-Poelkapelle

Read all the stories from the expo: https://www.langemark-poelkapelle.be/en/this-is-me-and-this-is-my-hero